Well, I guess that old saying about the Chicago Bears not being the “same old Bears” might actually apply this year. I know, I know—every time we say that, the universe usually responds by pelting us with bad quarterback play like it’s hail season. But this year? I’m… cautiously optimistic? Bears fans don’t do full optimism. It’s against our religion.
I’m in this NFC North trash-talk group online, and honestly, it’s comedy gold. You can immediately tell who hasn’t watched a single Bears game this season. They should, because Caleb is really fun to watch. Like, I haven’t said that about a Bears QB ever. So you can just tell they are either being really dishonest or haven’t watched as they’re in the group confidently yelling “Caleb’s a bust!!” like they just discovered a new species of ignorance. Meanwhile, those of us who actually have watched the games are sitting there like, “Buddy, blink twice if you’re just arguing based on vibes.”
Because Caleb? He’s looking really good. Accurate, powerful throws. Lots of good decisions. An absolute ninja in the pocket. And as Bears fans, that’s a deeply uncomfortable emotional experience. We’ve been through so many years of QB heartbreak—Grossman, Cutler, Trubisky, the Entire Andy Dalton Experience—that we’ve developed this unhealthy reflex where every tiny mistake sends us into DEFCON 2. You see Caleb throw one slightly-off pass and your brain starts whispering, “Ah yes… this is how it begins… the downfall.”
But then… it doesn’t. Because he’s actually good. Like, legitimately good. And suddenly you’re sitting on your couch confused, clutching your Bears blankie like an emotional support animal, wondering if this is what hope feels like.
What kills me, though, is the people still screaming that Caleb is obviously a bust, while simultaneously patting JJ McCarthy on the head like, “It’s okay, he’s still learning, he’s just a baby rookie.” I’m sorry—what? Did we not all just watch these two get drafted in the same round of the same NFL draft? Did someone time-travel JJ an extra two years of grace by accident? Because with the exact same amount of NFL experience, Caleb looks like the kid who actually did the homework, and JJ looks like the kid who forgot there was homework.
And before anyone tries the old “Sitting behind a veteran is better than starting right away!” argument—really? Because Jordan Love sat behind a future Hall of Famer for years and still has basically identical stats to a dude who got dropped straight into the fire as a rookie without an O-line. If you’re putting up the same numbers as a second-year QB, maybe the rookie is really good… or maybe you’re (Jordan Love) just not as elite as people want to pretend he is.
Anyway, all that to say: I think the future might finally be bright for the Bears. Trust me, I’m aware that we’ve had flashes of brilliance before (shoutout to Matt “Coach of the Year Then Immediate Crash-and-Burn” Nagy). New coaches sometimes look like geniuses until the league watches 12 minutes of film and goes, “Ah, okay, that’s the whole playbook.” Caleb is no Mitch Trubisky. Caleb actually looks like a quarterback you’d create in Madden if you weren’t trying to be realistic. I’m also aware that defenders are eventually going to learn that Caleb spins the same way out of the pocket every time (thanks Fox halftime commentators for pointing this out to the whole world) but maybe at the same time the defenders adjust, Caleb will just spin the other way.
But man, this all feels so different and I hope I’m right because it will be fun to actually enjoy watching football as a fan of a team. That instead of what I usually do which is just play the fantasy football thing, ignore my team’s games mostly and watch RedZone instead to cheer on various fantasy players for the only entertainment. For once, I’m ignoring my fantasy players and watching my team. And that’s cool, maybe even buy tickets and physically go to a game for a change kind of cool. And that’s the most foreign feeling of all, because NFL tickets are usually way above my pay grade even when teams are bad.
Anyway, my season record prediction. They’re sitting at 8–3 right now as of this morning, and the road ahead is… spicy. Likely their hardest stretch of the season. We’ve got the Eagles, Packers, Browns, Packers again (because apparently the schedule-makers hate us), 49ers, and Lions. So here’s how I see it:
9–3 after the Eagles. This one’s iffy, but I think it’s doable. If Caleb plays lights out and the Bears don’t forget how tackling works for an entire quarter, we can take it.
10–3 after the first Packers game. This is not even optimism. This is just math. The Packers defense has the structural integrity of pudding and like I said, that offense is just plain overrated.
11–3 after the Browns. Yes, they gave the rest of the NFC North headaches, but weirdly, the Bears match up well with teams that run on pure chaos.
12–3 after the second Packers matchup. Seriously, just stop with the Packers they’re not that good this year. I’ve seen IKEA furniture with more stability.
13–3 after the 49ers. Big ask? Absolutely. TBut if the Bears play their cleanest game and Caleb enters “I will ruin your afternoon” mode, they can steal this one. The 49ers aren’t invincible; they just cosplay as it sometimes.
And then… 13–4 after the Lions. Look, the Lions were way too good in that first meeting. They played like the final boss, and the Bears played like someone accidentally unplugged their controller. But the Lions have shown cracks as the season goes on. I’d love to be wrong and see 14–3, but I’m staying grounded.
Then playoffs. And yeah, that’s where my confidence starts to shake a little. They’ll probably wind up facing the Lions or the Packers again, and I’d rather it be the Packers, but nothing terrifies me more than divisional opponents in playoff mode because NFC north matchups are always crazy. But the Bears have been on a hell of a streak, Caleb looks legit, and the vibes are immaculate… so you never know.
And honestly? “You never know” is the most hope I’ve had in decades.
Here’s some more ideas for signs to bring to bears games that I brainstormed:
WE ARE NO LONGER BEAR-LY A TEAM
SOMEONE CHECK ON PACKERS FANS—THEIR EX IS THRIVING
OUR QB IS GOOD AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS
THERAPY IS EXPENSIVE, BUT WATCHING THE PACKERS LOSE IS FREE
SORRY, WE DON’T SPEAK “BAD QB PLAY” ANYMORE
I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING—WE HAVE A QUARTERBACK
IF YOU SEE ME SMILING, MIND YOUR BUSINESS. THE BEARS ARE WINNING.
JJ MCCARTHY IS STILL A ROOKIE BUT CALEB… ISN’T? EXPLAIN YOUR MATH.
DEAR PACKERS: LOVE JORDAN LOVE. SINCERELY, THE NFC NORTH (EXCEPT THE BEARS)
CALEB WILLIAMS: THE FIRST STEP IN MY HEALING JOURNEY
THE BEARS HAVE A QB AND NOW I BELIEVE IN MAGIC AGAIN
WHEN WE SAY “DA BEARS,” WE FINALLY MEAN IT WITH CONFIDENCE
THE BEARS ARE GOOD. I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A TEST.
MY DOCTOR SAID MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS IMPROVING—THANKS CALEB
DON’T JINX IT. DON’T SAY ANYTHING. JUST CHEER QUIETLY.
BEARS FANS: STILL HERE AFTER DECADES OF EXPOSURE TO CRUELTY
THIS SIGN HAS SEEN MORE WINS THAN THE PACKERS THIS MONTH
THE BEARS ARE SO BACK THEY NEVER LEFT—EXCEPT ALL THOSE YEARS THEY LEFT
By the way I always get a kick out of people holding a giant cut out letter “D” and a giant cut out fence icon, it’s so simple and stupid and overdone but I love everything about it and I totally might be that guy one of these times. Ok this post is getting long, I’m done now. Have a good Sunday I hope all your teams lose but at least have fun.
