The car that was there with me through the toughest summer i’ve had to go through in my life so far, the car that got me through my first couple years of college. Here you see it being towed away this morning, on it’s way to an auction company where hopefully some salvage yard will want it bad enough to take it.
Was it a sad day? No, i’ve gotten pretty frustrated with this car the last year or so. Ever since I had to replace the clutch, deal with a alternator problems, major electrical problems, a leaky radiator, a couple collisions and rear-endings, among many other things, i’ve kind of grown away from this car. Recently the electrical problems ended this car’s life, and it will probably never see a road again. The engine is still salvageable, which is why i’m sending it for auction. It’s being replaced by the 87 Chrysler LeBaron as I told you last week, which has been running nicely since I got it.
That’s enough about that. I sound very obsessive as I proofread what I just wrote. I’m dedicating a whole 2-3 paragraphs of my journal to a car. So i’m thinking to myself why on earth such a silly thing would impact my life so much that I make such a big deal about it the day it’s towed away forever? I think I go back to the days when I felt most alone in the world and the one thing I had most control over in my life seemed to be my car. It was when I didn’t have control anymore, when things started breaking down, that I feel like I should have been sad and upset. But quite frankly, I was happy. There’s something about the riddance of that car that just makes me plain happy, even though it was there through some tough times. Or maybe that’s just it, I needed to be rid of it to be completely rid of that time period in which I remind myself of every once in a while. So in short: the car was there for me when I was breaking down and didn’t give up on me then, but when it’s breaking down I just send it away. I guess i’m just another cruel selfish human. But what i’m saying is silly.
We all do things in our lives that we aren’t always necessarily proud of. We do things that we wish would have worked out differently, or wonder what would have happened if they had worked out differently. But there’s a saying that’s so old now it almost seems cheesy, “everything happens for a reason” and I guess there could be some truth to that. Somehow I feel that I have to believe that I will never have full control over my life, but as long as I’m able to defend myself from all the bad things that could happen I can live comfortably. But no one can really fully defend themselves can they? I think we learned that back in September of 2001. Gee, that year really got our attention didn’t it?
If this all made no sense to you, don’t worry, i’m trying to comprehend it too. It’s one of those days.
If you follow the top 40 music page, the June edition is complete and posted to the website, so check it out. I haven’t gotten anywhere on the pics page as I had promised, but something will be done eventually. I have about 3 weeks of the quarter left so i’m getting going on final projects. Obviously they will be taking up a lot of my time in the next couple weeks.
But I also plan to enjoy summer for once. Last summer was a major bust. I didn’t do much of anything. I’m getting some free tickets to Valleyfair (the amusement park in MN) from work and I plan to check out the race tracks around here finally. I also have promised Liz we’d go to the Zoo, because we didn’t get to last summer and I said we could. And maybe i’ll actually start running again like I said I was going to… Hmm, maybe if i’d just stop staying up until 2:00 in the morning so I could get up in the morning and do it. But I need to stop complaining. Hey, It’s June! Summer’s begun, and it’s going to be a good one.
See you next time.
