5 out of 5 stars.
Traumatizing. I’m still not okay.
Kind of a random movie to review, I know, but hear me out. It’s been years, but every time I hear the title My Girl, I get flashbacks—like actual, heart-pounding, tear-inducing flashbacks. What I thought was going to be a sweet, nostalgic coming-of-age story about a quirky little girl and her best friend turned into a full-blown emotional ambush that left me questioning everything I ever believed about childhood innocence.
Let’s start with the fact that the first half of this movie lulls you into a false sense of security. You’re introduced to Vada, this spunky, imaginative girl who’s navigating the weirdness of growing up with a mortician dad. Sure, there’s a bit of a death theme going on—okay, a LOT of a death theme—but you think, Hey, it’s the ‘90s! It’s quirky! It’ll be fine! SPOILER ALERT: IT IS NOT FINE. NOTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE IS FINE.
Everything seems almost wholesome—summer crushes, best friends, and innocent adventures. You’re invested. You’re laughing. You think you’re safe. And then, out of nowhere, they hit you with the most traumatizing cinematic event I have ever witnessed. Why? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL THOMAS J.?
The movie leads you to believe this is a cute, light-hearted story about kids hanging out and learning life lessons, and then, without warning, they take away the most precious, purest soul—Macaulay Culkin in oversized glasses! And it’s not even a dignified death. No, he dies from BEE STINGS. Bee stings! I still flinch when I see a bee because I can’t help but think, This is it. This is how Thomas J. went.
And the funeral scene? Don’t even get me started. Vada’s heart-wrenching breakdown, standing in front of his casket, crying out,
“He can’t see without his glasses!”
is forever seared into my mind. Who gave them permission to do this to us? To do this to me? I signed up for a feel-good movie, not an emotional gut punch that left me sobbing into my popcorn.
Since then, I’ve never trusted another movie about childhood friendship. You think they’re just going to ride bikes and eat ice cream, but no—one of them’s probably going to die. My whole childhood shattered in that moment, and honestly, I’m still picking up the pieces.
If you’re planning to watch My Girl for the first time, here’s my advice: don’t. Or at least prepare yourself for deep emotional damage that will stick with you for the rest of your life. I’m still in therapy, and I still can’t talk about it without feeling a lump in my throat the size of an entire beehive. Proceed with extreme caution.
And yet I gave it 5 out of 5 stars. It was a powerful fucking movie, ok? The tears in my eyes are just from the pollen. From the fucking bees. Fuck those bees. Sorry bees, I didn’t mean that.
Oof, what a movie. Macauley and Anna acted their asses off in this one. Thought Macauley kinda forced his lines in the Home Alones? God damn man, he killed it. His little brother killed it in Succession and Anna Chlumsky was great in Veep. They’re all great. I hope they’re ok. I’m not ok.
